2001-05-25 - 12:08 a.m.
For the last few nights the sky has been set on fire. The heat waves thick and heavy through the air, pushing back flowers and making the grass sweat. Twenty-eight degrees Celcius is unbearable for me so I hideout in my basement where the temperature drops to fifteen and I almost need a sweater.
Smog hovers inches from the horizon, stretching out so there is a ring of orange haze around the visible world. The sky is layered like sediment only reversed and all the clouds appear to be backlit from the setting sun. Everything glows as if the ground is nuclear, pushing radiation upward and giving the houses new shades of white and blue. People seem to stop in the middle of the road to stare upward. Past the streetlights and above the wooden shingled rooves. Suddenly I'm aware the Earth is spinning.
Tonight I watched a storm pass. I saw a blanket of dark electricity move across the park to the northeast, sparking and then igniting into sonic booms. I've never seen anything so alive, so out of control. Shards of white light would streak across the sky, connecting at the most random places, then disappear. There would be white-hot heartbeats pulsating from behind clouds, flashing so quick it was like seeing God in such a brief unbelieveable moment.
We watched until it dispersed above the prairie, beyond where the earth meets the heavens, just where the sun breathes early each morning. Faintly, through the noise of the television, I could feel a rumble so quiet it tickled my inner ear. That's when I knew the Earth had exhaled.
My brother showed me how to use his BoFlex has a rowing machine as I told him how I've been exercising so I don't get depressed. I was surprised that he understood. Finally something got through that thick head of his. But anyway, jogging every night has been doing me wonders and it's only been three days. I felt too tired tonight to do anything, but I pushed on like I promised myself I would. Dad says the the first week is always the hardest.
I didn't really do much of anything today. I went to Safeway with Mom and bought groceries. We steered away from the junkfood aisle. I've been eating salt and vinegar rice cakes and arrowroot cookies in replace of full bags of chips and cheezies. We bought so much good food today, I hated coming home with it because I couldn't decide what to eat and what to save for tomorrow. I have a habit of indulging whenever I know there's new food in the house.
There was a Radiohead listening party at the Paramount Imax Theatre in Chinook Centre tonight which I had forgotten completely about. It was about 9:45 when I read the message Andy sent at about six saying that he was heading over there and asked if I wanted to meet him. Fifteen minutes to get on the complete other side of town to attend a function that was probably near sold out? Hah. I just grabbed a bottle of water and watched CSI. Oh well. I'll buy the album when it comes out.
I've given up on the idea of getting work before I go back home. It seems impossible right now. No one seems to be hiring, or wanting to hire me. And to think I'm living in a city that has been said to have 3:1 ratio of jobs to people. Fuck it. My parents are going to compensate by giving me jobs to do around the house (a lot of painting and some gardening) so I can justify taking money from them. Dad's also going to pay me to do some data entry into a new system his company as set up online. At least it's something.
When I go back home I'll be working a little anyway, taking care of my Aunt's kids while she works fulltime so they don't have to be shipped to daycare. I do it every summer, I just hope I don't come down with pneumonia like I did last year. I always get sick around July/August, it's a pattern I've fallen into. Oh well, I'll have a bit of pocket money from that, anyway. Enough to go on at least one shopping spree at Value Village.
It's kind of funny that I'm saving all my shopping for when I go back to Newfoundland as opposed to doing it all here on the mainland. Thrift and second-hand shopping sucks up here. Everything great is drastically overpriced and what cool shit is left over has been taken by someone who really needs it. Like I really need another Bible Camp tee.
Speaking of home, the departure date is getting closer and I still have yet to receive my electronic ticket. The rest of my family have received theirs, Mom getting hers twice for some strange reason. Someone over at Air Canada screwed up, I'm not sure if Dad has it all fixed or not. I just hope I can get home.
I've only ever travelled on my own once, to Chicago over New Year's to visit Austin at his home in Indiana. It was only a fairly short flight, four or five hours. Travelling from Calgary to St. John's is about twelve hours, counting layovers and all other time spent waiting. The only comfort I have is that I'll be travelling first class the entire way (it was the only seat available for my flight) so I'll have more leg room and possibly a few extra packets of pretzels. I hope I have a window seat. And I hope to Christ that the in-flight movie isn't A Straight Story. I'd sooner jump out the emergency window than sit through that expreience again.
For some reason I still feel like I have a lot to say when really not a lot has been happening. I'm going to give someone a call right now, I think. As late as it is, I still feel like talking.
