2001-06-10 - 11:45 p.m.
Listening to: Rufus Wainright, Poses
(click on the link to go the album profile at AllMusic.com)
Sometimes I have days that are dramatically divided into seperate moments in time. As if an entire week was squished into twenty-four hours. Complete with several wardrobe changes, different hairstyles, and alternating moods and perspectives. I lose all concept of time on days like that, I keep moving without really having any kind of internal schedule or clock. I begin to do everything based on my body's needs rather than relying on my wrist watch. It's a lot like being five years old again, before I knew how to tell time and before I had any sense of responsibility or stress.
Austin and I stayed up until 6am this morning talking in Netmeeting. Regardless of the fact that I had to be out of the door at 7:30am to work at the office, we spent hours laughing at each other because we couldn't find any words. Video conferencing has been a lifesaver with us for the last two and a half years. Sure, the streaming video is often choppy and quite pixelated but the general idea is there.
I keep thinking about the interview I saw with Brad Pitt when he was talking about the making of Snatch. How he said that he brought a laptop and webcamera with him so he could video conference with Jennifer Aniston back in the States. It was so cute how he described being able to see her even though it wasn't all that clear but felt closer to her because he could see her.
It was really sweet, trust me. I'm just not doing a very good job of writing about it tonight. You'll just have to believe me and ignore my banter :P
Working this morning was absolute hell. I had a total of forty-five minutes of sleep before I somehow managed to get in the shower and pull on clean clothes. As soon as I got to the office, Dad made me do manual labour. It took me two hours to do something that usually only took thirty minutes to complete. I ended up sitting a chair and falling asleep in the middle of Dad's office. I can't even imagine what it must have looked like to people walking by because I wasn't leaning over or anything - just sitting there completely straight appearing to be staring forward. Scary.
Dad came in and mumbled an angry, "Jesus Christ" and ordered me out of the chair. I don't know if it's a Dad thing or just something that he does, but he always manages to be really hurtful without actually intending it. I can remember when I was in fifth grade and he did something similar to me because I was doing something I wasn't supposed to do (I don't remember exactly but I'm sure it wasn't anything bad). He raised his voice with a very angry and frustrated, "Jesus Christ", and I went to school crying. Parents aren't supposed to yell at their kids, especially when they don't mean it. I was never really yelled at when I was growing up so whenever something rare like that happens, I don't really know how to react to it properly so I just get in this really foul mood and almost start to cry. I'm such a baby.
I worked until 1:30pm and passed out on the new leather sofa in the family room until 4pm. The only time I moved was to get in bed and sleep for another six hours. I only woke up a little while ago. Maybe that's why today feels so scattered and unruly.
Tomorrow I'm not sure what I have planned to do. I'm supposed to be getting my camera back but I'm guessing I should just wait to get a call from Futureshop to be sure that it's in. I need to buy some boys' white socks with the stripes at the top so I can have something cool to wear with my shoes and skirts. I also need to get some more hair gel and buy some shampoo at The Body Shop to replace the stuff I have now. I'm convinced the shampoo and conditioner I've been using has ripped the health out of my hair so I'm going back to the stuff I always used - Seaweed and Peony Shampoo and Conditioner.
Yea, fun stuff.
I think I'm going to go back to bed. I have this really heavy feeling all over me and my insides taste like metal. Ew.
Night.
