2001-06-11 - 10:14 p.m.
There are spots in this north west suburbia that are just far enough from the traffic and the moan of the city where you can listen and see everything wintin a 100 km radius. Where you can see the cars move in one fluid constant direction, like rivers of light and metal all stemming from the same pool of life [the City Centre]. Tree and rooftops seem artificial and perfectly placed, like a screen capture from a game of SimCity. Weather moves above, teasing with drops of rain but never letting go completely. There are places that seem detached from the rest of the city but are still very much a part of it.
I could see everything from where I was sitting. The beaten grass pathways veined the hillsides and people with their dogs hiked along them. Every now and then I could hear a train going through the valley, its rumbling and loud whitsling carried through the wind. The mountains were laced with oncoming rain and seemed more far away than usual. I could see so much detail in the city below me: the kids playing rollerhockey in the rink hiding behind a row of houses; the illuminated sign marquee rolling adverts on Olympic Park; the Stoney Trail freeway that sits bridging the valley and then disappears into a small forest of trees.
It has become ritual for me to get coffee and situate myself on a hillside now. Oddly enough, sitting by myself with a cigarette makes me feel less alone, if that makes any sense at all. The feeling of seperation is huge in this city, and I guess sitting above it all makes it feel even worse - but in a good way. There's a sense of power being up so high, it's almost Godlike. Maybe that's why I wear heels whenever I go to a bar or out to dinner. The height gives me confidience. It's like, "Don't mess with me or I'll step on you" and I love that feeling.
I saw Andy today crossing Nosehill Drive while I was waiting for Matthew and his friends to get out of school. It was about 3:30 and I guess he had just gotten out from work and was heading downtown. I yelled at him, even jumped out of the car and ran towards him screaming his name but he didn't turn around. I guess he has his walkman on pretty loud. Oh well, maybe it was for the best anyway. I mean he probably had somewhere important to be and we all know how busy my schedule is - Hah! Although, I hope I see him before I go home, and even moreso I hope that we're still close when I come back in August. I know how much a few months will affect a relationship, I just hope he doesn't completely forget about me.
Yea, I'm a little sad that we sort of loss connection so suddenly and I hate the feeling it brings. Although, it's not that I been ditched or dropped, things just changed. I guess friendships are always going to do that. Everyone and everything will always evolve, it's just a matter of fate if they evolve in the same direction. Everything happens for a reason, y'know...
I got my itinerary for my flight back home. Instead of taking a redeye flight straight from Calgary to St. John's, I'll be flying during the day and spending a night in Halifax then to St. John's the following morning. At least this way I won't be pacing about the house waiting to leave, I'll already be in the air and on my way home. I won't have a chance to feel impatient.
My flight arrives in Halifax around suppertime and I will be spending the night at my Aunt and Uncle's house. I wish that my friends from high school were still in Halifax so I could have something to do that night but they're all back home for the summer. It's alright though. If the weather is nice I'll just go for a walk and take a few pictures. Or! If anyone who reads this lives in Halifax and are up for a coffee or two, I'm all for it :) Meeting people and making new friends are amongst my favourite things to do! E-mail me if you want to get in touch.
Hmm.. What else...
I got a postcard from Stephanie today which totally brightened my morning. I only wish she had left a return address so I could send one back to her. I like getting mail but I guess I don't send enough to receive the amount I'd like to have. Although, I plan to send a lot of stuff out to people this summer. Can anyone say cheesy Newfoundland postcards with toothless fishermen on them? Mwahaha..
Oh, and I still haven't gotten my camera back from stupid Futureshop. Never shop there, kids. They're evil and employed with spawns of Satan.
