2001-11-10 - 4:30 p.m.
The summer that my high school boyfriend broke up with me, a close friendship I had with a girl down the road dwindled and I fell apart. I wanted desperately to fix things, make it all right again and mend everyone else's wounds in belief that I'd mend my own in the process. I piled all the blame unnecessarily on myself, convincing myself that I was the problem.
It was when I came home after spending the afternoon crying in the park that Mom sat me down and bluntly said, "Suzen, you're not the problem. There is so much more going on with these people that's making them act like this. It doesn't involve you. I know you care about them but this doesn't involve you. The best way you can help is to stay out of it."
It took me a year to get my act together, although, even now I find myself recalling that one moment. I repeat Mom's words in my head and I realize how much I really do wish I could fix things for people; that I could make it better for everyone. Yet, I know that rarely is it ever my place to do so and that's probably the hardest thing for me to deal with.
I have trouble determining my boundaries.
