2003-03-09 - 8:58 am
It's early and I just weeded out my friends list on Livejournal. What was 60 now is 50 and I'm just waiting for someone to send me a defensive e-mail. I hate the politics of the Internet, especially those surrounding Livejourna/Blurty/Deadjournal. Friends, not friends. The Internet is all about being a public forum, I'm coming to terms with that now, and I'm tired of screening my entries to some people. I started out six years ago writing online and not giving a shit about the concequences but only caring about sharing my life with anyone who cared.
Once upon a time I had a website where I posted photos, artwork, and fairly personal journal entries and received 500 hits a day. Once upon a time I was on the brink of being an Internet Celebrity in the small community I was a part of. Websites were everything. Sharing was everything.
I'm tired of how Livejournal forces me to censor my audience. I'm tired of how automatic and sterile those journaling communities can be. I want things to be like they were two years ago because there was a lot more creativity back then. People were more open.
I write on the Internet because I have this need to speak and be heard. I'm the type of person that has always craved an audience and I can't get that from a paper journal. I give you everything so I can start a discussion, so I can meet new people, so I can create new ties. I keep a website because I love a medium that has the ability to immortalize me, even for a moment. I love being a part of a community that allows 100% of the population to make their mark on it.
Some day I may go back to having a personal website. Some day I'll delete my Livejournal/Blurty accounts and start reading real websites again. In the meantime I'll ween myself off ready-made journaling with Diaryland, the closest things to a personal website I've had in forever.
I'm just like my parents, nostalgic over the past.
