2003-04-13 - 10:36 am
Dad's on a cleaning rampage upstairs. Every now and then I can hear the vacuum fall against the wood floor, his heavy footsteps pounding on the ceiling and the classic rock station seeping through the vents. Apparently one of Dad's collegues are coming over for supper tonight and heaven forbid someone outside our family sees how unkept our house has become. Just don't bring him down here, that's all I can say.
Really, I think I'm stalling. I hit the snooze button twice before resetting my alarm altogether and only got out of bed because the dog was scratching to be let out. The tiniest things wake me up like that—soft growls from the hallway, dripping faucets, snoring—it's the big things that I can sleep through. I've been known to sleep right next to the telephone and not peep when it rings. I can sleep through straight thunderstorms and rock concerts. It's amazing, really.
I'm still so tired but I do have things to do. There's an exam tomorrow afternoon that I haven't been the best about studying for. I promised myself that by waking up early I would be able to get some studying done. So far, I'm not even dressed. I'm nervous about doing badly on it but at the same time I don't care. That's the bad thing about getting good grades because as soon as it comes down to the end of the semester I stop caring. As long as I don't fail it, I'll be fine. I don't care about Art History. I don't care at all.
All I can hear is Dad walking from one end of the house to the other. Quickened pacings and clunking steps. I hate noises that I can't control, dull thuds and hums from other parts of the house that interfere with my atmosphere. I get cranky about it which is a little dumb, I know. It's the same when I hear people eat, crunching chips and hollow heads. I'd like to be able to control my immediate surroundings as much as possible.
Though, this is early morning me. The me without caffiene and sugar. The me without a shower. The me with so much work to do but no desire to do it.
I'll get dressed in a bit and eat some more breakfast then go to Weeds to drink pots and pots of tea and somehow get this work done. It's extremely quiet there now since the smoking bylaw has prohibited smoking in public places unless properly contained. No one sits in the non-smoking section and I like it that way. Really, I can't believe I spent two years sitting in the smoking part of that place; I can't believe I even touched a cigarette (as few times as that was) because just last night when I walked by a couple smoking outside Denny's I nearly gagged on the tiny bit of smoke. I don't know how or why it happened but I'm just disgusted by the entire thing (smoking that is, not non-smoking) and I become more disgusted every day.
I hope I don't turn into one of those Nazi non-smokers who judges people solely on whether they are smoking or non-smoking because I think I'd lose all of my friends.
Hm. Well, I really went off on a tangent there, didn't I? I better get going.
