2003-04-17 - 11:21 pm
Hm. Am I the only one that never understood the hype surrounding the White Stripes? Apparently they've been getting a lot of airplay on MuchMusic—I think that's a tell tale sign of them becoming overplayed right there. Heh.
I shouldn't talk about music though. I'm not really into it like everyone else is. I know what I like and I've finally gotten to the point in my life where I don't feel self-conscious about it. It's ridiculous feeling so passive about stuff like that, as if musical taste makes up personality. Yeesh.
It has taken a few years but I'm finally comfortable enough with myself to not feel bad about not liking things just because my boyfriend likes them or just because my friends like them. And I don't even care anymore that I'm not into music as everyone else is. I couldn't tell you anything about Rilo Kiley other than the fact I like their music. I couldn't even name off their albums or track listings or "my favourite song". I never cared that much about shit like that and whenever it seemed like I did, it was just a front to make myself seem hip.
Yea, I'm a loser. Heh. But I'm over it now. Music is great but it doesn't run my life. When kids start talking about the latest whatever album, I usually just turn my attention to a spot on the wall and wait until I can jump in with a diversion. Yea, it just ain't my thang.
Anyway, in other news I have regained 85% use of my left index finger after an exacto knife incident that happened last night. To make a really gross story short, my finger was too close to the blade and I sliced some flesh off. It's still very tender but I've taken the bandages off to let the air work its magical healing powers. I'm going to have a really rad scar there once everything is done and over with, meaning that I only have three more fingers to injure until each fingerpad is defaced.
It's so strange being out of school now knowing that I don't have any deadlines. It's almost too freeing. This morning I woke up at 8:30 to the dull heartbeat bass of my brother's stereo on the top floor of the house (note, I'm in the basement so he really had his music up loud if it woke me up). I baked rolls, drank tea and read in the kitchen for over an hour until the sun got too hot on my back. I tried to make a plan for myself so I wouldn't feel so useless but ultimately I ended up going to school for a few hours. I cleaned out my locker, spoke to some friends, and cut the rest of my zines. It was all really laid back and startling.
I guess things will pick up after Saturday when I have my first shift at Hallmark. Oh, did I mention that? I got the job there—hired on the spot, even. Once I get a regular work pattern happening then I won't feel as lost as I do right now. I don't start school again until late August and that's such a fucking long time. In the meantime I've been trying to make at least one new thing a day. Today it was a black and white striped headband with red backing. Tomorrow I'll probably attempt to make a handbag or something. Yea, sewing really sets my mind at ease. I can't wait to start weaving in the fall because I find it more meditative than yoga.
Mom came home tonight with orange hair. She's such a hip woman, always up on the latest trends and never afraid to do something daring. Despite a quiet racist remark she made in the airport, I'm really glad to have her here. I'm hoping I'll get to do something with her tomorrow or over the weekend, like go shopping with her and Peggy.
It's funny to see her react to everything here because she hasn't been in Calgary since December and Newfoundland winters tend to suck the life right out of you. It's probably going to be even more strange to have her here permanently again in August because I think we've all gotten used to her not being around.
Hm. Yes. I think that's all I really have to say right now. I'm getting drowzy and have a coffee date with a school friend tomorrow morning. It's going to be beautiful tomorrow and I'm excited about walking around Kensington in the sunshine. Summer is on its way and I'm more excited than you'll ever know.
