2003-05-28 - 4:01 pm
I'm taking a break, yes, in an unconventional way I suppose. No ICQ, no AIM, no posting in LJ, just my e-mail and Diaryland. I know in my own sick way this is an aim to get attention but whatever. I have cramps and I'm allowed. Chat programs and Livejournal eat my soul.
Anyway, if you were wondering about me "cheating on my internet break", that's my explanation for it.
Matthew, the talented midwestern boy of Ghostco, has offered to design my next tattoo. I sent him sketches today and I'm greatful and very excited. Sure, my mother won't approve of yet another tattoo but it's not like she'll kick me out of the house because of it. She'll just shake her head and mumble every time she sees it, just like she does with the one I already have.
As I wrote someplace else earlier, I'm looking forward to getting another tattoo done. There is something so theraputic for me in feeling the needle drag across my skin. It may sound a bit morbid to some but feeling that kind of pain is like a cleansing, a form of purification. It's a safer form of self-mutilation and since piercings don't agree with me, tattoos are the only solution to this addiction I have.
Matthew is an amazing artist and such a doll for doing this for me again. He said I'm the only person he'd ever design tattoos for and I feel more privledged than I ever have before. Despite the shotty week I've been having, I'm ecstatic all because of this.
I have to head into work in about an hour and I'm happy to do so. Even though I needed that day and a half off, I realize that staying home with myself is the worst thing I could ever do. Yesterday I was out practically from the moment I got out of bed until I went back to bed and I was better for it. Today, though, I haven't gone anywhere. I just watched Men With Brooms for the third time and napped with my dog laying across my belly. Things could have been worse.
Yea, my PMS and period are horrible this month. The worst it has been in a really long time. Sadly I know there isn't a damn thing I can do about it other than steer away from caffiene and potentially harmful situations (ie: why I decided to take a break from LJ and chatting, and also why I've been trying to spend as much time away from this room as I can). People have told me I'm the only person they know who gets PMS this bad but that doesn't make me feel any better. Heh.
I'm excited about Amanda arriving on Sunday. I need to have her here to take my mind off a lot of things that have been going on. I need to laugh so hard I cry and walk down the street with arms linked like we can take over the world. Girlfriend strength is what I need right now.
I should get some lunch together before I have to leave. I'm going to wear capris to work even though I'm technically not supposed to because today is a day for tight black pants and striped socks.
Here's to feeling better.
